It’s that time of the year again, and honestly I finally have some time to update the blog! This is the time of the year for reflection right? Or it feels that way at least. In these moments I am feeling very blessed for the lessons that I have learned this year. I’m also feeling hopeful for what’s to come.

I know I haven’t been posting so much, but as I have expressed prior, this is really my little corner of the world to be able to share my true feelings and be myself. Lately, I have been struggling to see where that fits in with doing my “work”. I don’t ever want to grow so much in my career that I am unable to be authentic to the reasons I started this whole journey and that’s growth. Luckily, I receive daily feedback from all of you that helps me in being able to write & share openly and honestly. With that said, the past year has been an emotional rollercoaster for me starting with many downs, but finishing with many ups. For the past few years I have been working on myself and growing as a woman. I could say there are so many things that have gotten in the way, but those things ended up making the growth I have seen the most.

I think for a lot of us, this year has been exhausting and felt like a never-ending story. Most of us are awaiting 2017 with open arms. In the next two weeks of holidays I hope to update this little space a lot more, and write about what has worked for me this year and some of the things that I have learned. As we are on the brink of a new year (and new beginnings) I am solely focusing on having a positive, light hearted disposition right now. It’s contagious and it’s needed. Have you ever been so tired of being tired that your only lifeline is opening your heart and living your life passionately? Well that was a lesson I really learned this year.

After experiencing some hard family struggles during last years holidays I came back from holidays feeling tired, sick and drained. I worked really hard this year on personal growth and finding things that worked for me to feel better. They weren’t the obvious things like working out, or stress eating.. or even smoking pot. I rediscovered my practice with yoga, and started my journey of meditation. I read a few books about the life of Paramahansa Yogananda and Self Realization. I’m a very scatterbrained person who likes to take bits and bobs of things that I learn and stay an individual, but to be honest some events from every bit of my life lead me to discovering these things.

I’m by no means an advocate for telling people what to do regarding these very personal journeys, but this year I learned that simple kindness, thoughtfulness, and most importantly self-care can make your world change for you and those around you. Life isn’t really meant to be easy all the time, but even in the hard and dark moments things can be beautiful and lessons can be learned. Suffering and hard times brings us a level of awareness and appreciation that maybe we wouldn’t be able to feel otherwise.

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For the first time in many years, I decided to not go home for Christmas. I was feeling a lot of pressure from last year and just pressure to put my life on pause again and travel back to america for a few months. So I made an adult decision to not do it this year. It doesn’t mean I don’t love my family, or miss them more than anything else in this world. It just meant I needed this for me, and that’s okay. This Christmas I am focusing on my wellness and preparing for 2017. If you need to be strong for other people, the best thing to do is make sure you have a strong foundation for yourself. So my plans are to sleep in, do a week yoga training, meditation, setting intentions for the new year, having a spa day (warm places bring wellness during the winter time) and getting back to my best self after a long year of personal things and work. Releasing is the theme this year. It’s really hard to do, but it’s absolutely necessary in moving forward.

I want to take this time to say thank you to all of you that read what I write and relate to it. It’s a little difficult using your voice for things like this, but I feel it’s absolutely necessary to be transparent and open. I feel very blessed to have this platform as a career window, and I know I’m not alone in my struggles so sharing can help others. I’m sending love and light to all of you out there going through things, and feeling a little removed from your families

A little off topic, but I love to eat during the holidays so I shot some of my most favorite christmas “eating” outfits with Adidas Originals x Pharrell Human Nature Collection, at the beautiful Angelina Paris. I love wearing track suits, sweatpants, and crewnecks during the wintertime. In my part two post for Christmas and NYE I will show a little more girly side….

Merry Christmas & Joyeux Noel! Be safe, enjoy and remember a new year, new beginnings, fresh starts are just around the corner! Use this downtime productively to manifest what you really want!

photography: Lea Souffan
MUA: Sharon Sarfati @shasar18
creative direction/styling: Aurielle Sayeh
clothing: @adidas @adidas_fr