I haven’t written a thoughtful piece in a while so I decided to speak about something close to my heart. As a woman I still often struggle with finding and trusting friendships with other women. Whether it’s because of my success, fear of envy, fear of people getting too close to my man/relationship, or any other reason to have an insecurity I have been burned by women in the past and it has been a hard area of growth for me. Over the summer however, when I was having some hard times in my life and still had to work & travel I met some amazing girls whom I think will be lifelong friends and it made me pause and ask myself the question, should we share our fears with other women? I learned a big lesson that the only way to overcome this fear of friendships with women was through it and to be authentic, vulnerable and real.
Amongst my travels I met Frankie, Aka Michelle. We met through my good friend Angelica during our trip to London for the Puma event. We only met for a day and didn’t even speak that much, but I liked her. I was coming to her hometown of Berlin to DJ and she asked me if I wanted to stay with her so I said why not. Normally I am not the kind of girl that would do this. Growing up with my dad and two brothers, I am just not your typically girls girl. I am quiet, like my space, my sneakers, horror films, and video games. But my wanderlust told me I was in good company and it could be cool to see Berlin from an insiders eyes.
Right away we hit it off. She was a grandma like me, neither of us wanted to go party. A side of me as a DJ most people don’t know is I am all partied out now. You will rarely catch me drinking anything stronger than a glass of red wine or a cold beer. We had a lot in common when it came to life, and family stuff too. Quickly, Michelle became my new friend of the summer. And like that some friendships are born without the need to analyze or overthink.
One of the best parts of our friendship I feel was what she has taught me about work ethic and competition. She is hustling and sometimes I don’t always feel confident in this area, but she put life back into me in that matter. Also she helped me. In this industry so many of us are sizing eachother up, looking at what the other person has that we don’t — we forget we are all different. And when I say different— we are unique. There is no one like me, there is no one like you. I hate to admit that sometimes I am afraid of helping people because it has come to bite me in the ass so many times. Michelle reminded me that there was more than enough to go around and I ended up coming back to Berlin twice more this summer and we got to work together at Bread && Butter.
All in all, my new friendship with Michelle AKA Frankie Miles, reminded me to really find peace in the time I spend with other women. To thank my lucky stars when I find someone I connect with. As a 32 year old woman, I realize games aside the people I have near me now are the ones I need in my life. Which is why I eliminate needless, untrustworthy people pretty fast from the equation. Your vibe attracts your tribe. We as women have got to stop being afraid of one another, and start relating. We also hold a high responsibility to speak about this on social media. I go to so many events where people who you assume are friends and enjoying eachothers company are just little bitches glaring at eachother across the room until they’ve had their photo ops for instagram, or are looking down at their phones the whole time. Love me or hate me, I will always tell the truth. As fun and as adventurous my life is, it’s also a struggle living overseas in different cultures, being in this social media game, and suffering from anxiety (and at times social anxiety). Having genuine people that bring up your laughs and quality of life really means something, someone you can talk to with no wifi, phone face down, no insta story tags.
Michelle is on her way to spend 6 weeks in Barcelona and I am so happy for her! We took these friendship photos in Berlin with our friend Hendrik! You can follow him at @theoceaniam
pants: the new originals
shoes/socks: adidas germany, adidas originals