Restart. As women we are taught to do it over and over. Unlike our male unemotional counterparts we must learn how to not let what we “feel” stop us from moving ahead in so many areas of our lives. We must be strong. I took a year off from my first time ever starting something really for me (this blog) I was going through family problems bigger than me and didn’t want to share myself of my false happiness with the world. I learned in work you can’t trust everyone, even those closest to you. I learned that in order to heal for real, you have to dig deep constantly. I learned that I’m not going to ever be perfect no matter how hard I try and that’s okay. Most importantly, I’ve learned lessons and I’ve learned I’m stronger that I give myself credit for.
I learned that I really have grown into a woman. Sometimes my first inner feelings and emotions are those of my younger self, but I’ve been doing this and on my own. Surviving I’d like to say. I had a great talk with a friend last night, about life. I told her my heart has just been broken in too many areas of life for me to be optimistic. Sometimes I am having jolts of positivity when things are good, but then I come back to this odd, sad strange place searching for light again. She told me this and I find it to be very true and why I am being utterly honest right now. She said Life isn’t easy for anyone. We go through waves. Sometimes we have money problems, when family and love is good. Sometimes family heartaches, when we have someone we love by our side. Sometimes the problem is just us. And by looking outside some people never show it, we can be envious of people that we don’t even know. We don’t know what they are facing.
But if you love one thing. People, hobbies, passions … you can make it. Pour your heart into those things she said. I truly feel people send you messages you need to hear. This little corner of the world is my safe haven of things that I love. I love writing, I love music, I love sneakers, I love to create, I love to travel, I love makeup, skincare, beauty… I love being real in a world that constantly makes me wonder why I am even doing this particular job. If you come here you may not see happy false tinkerbell thoughts 365 days a year but you will be in good company on all your different walks of life.
Just like many of you, I am just a girl in a woman’s body and mind trying to get to the next stages of life. You may not realize what your presence can be for other people, but if you just for a moment open your eyes wherever you are at now you will realize that the stranger (or person you know) just in front of you is going through the same inner struggles of being human like you are. We are all confused, growing and tired at times. I welcome you to the new and improved she is the light and hope you’ll join me on the next part of my journey. By June I’ll have the site translated into french as well!