I’m always writing the bullshit of my life on here, and that seems to catch you guys the most. Well today I am speaking about a topic matter I don’t usually like to get too deep into on the blog, and that’s my dating life. I would say in france, it was pretty much non existent. I had a lot of guys interested in me, but I was looking for more than dissapointing one night stands that half of the time weren’t even worth the risky adventure- let alone the loss of sleep. I fell for one guy who was not available, but who was still mine when I wanted him to be. It was perfect, it was good for my schedule, and he was what I needed for that long year and a half. But he wasn’t mine, and he wasn’t my boyfriend. I believe he used the term “sex friend” during our last conversation when I was breaking things off with him for missing my birthday.
And this ladies, and gentlemen is dating now. This is what’s left if you are a person who decided to make your life about you and your career. This is dating in 2016. No matter who you are, how pretty, talented, cool, and perky your butt is. It does not matter. There’s an epidemic and connecting on real levels today is being considered crazy and unrealistic.
I would like to preface my womanly rant with saying this. I am now, a fresh faced whopping 31 years old. I know myself, I know my worth, I know what my strengths are, as well how to play my weaknesses to my benefit. I’m smart, I’m funny, I’m caring, I’m spicy and I’m someone that’s worthy of utmost respect. When I give myself to a man, I probably premeditated that situation many times, deciding it was something that I WANTED before even giving him the green light to come into my aura. I know guys like to think that they are finessing us with lines, and actions- but at the end of the day it’s us that decided to fuck with you and not the other way around.
I decided to write this because I have actually been dating more often and I’m having a lot of fun with that. The only issue that constantly pops up is the question of suppressing my wants and needs to be a “cool girl”. I am a cool girl. If you get to spend time with me you should be pretty excited (okay all jokes aside.) Being cool these days consists of shutting the fuck up about relationship needs and expectations. Expectations? What are thoooosseee? You aren’t supposed to have them or you’re instantly branded difficult and undatable. This is something I feel was most recently brought up the past couple of years after the rise of social media. We all have so many options and so many things to visually dream about that may appear to be “greener” on the other side.
I have met a lot of cool guys in my profession or in the industries I skate around in, and a lot of them are cute and interesting with great personalities but all seem to have one thing in common. Everything is cool until you show your true likes and dislikes. I’m not a diva by any means, and I am probably more on the chill side than most girls but I feel like everytime I get close with someone (close*) the time comes where they get spooked and dip, and I am not a cat I don’t chase mice. It’s an obvious thing that MOST guys in their twenties and early thirties don’t want relationships normally, but why does it have to be so complicated and who said anything about rushing?
I think the one thing that guys and men in this new found “free” generation we have become don’t understand is that there are still some really old fashioned girls out there who respect themselves, have things going for themselves, like to have fun and who aren’t in a rush for a relationship but also who wants to sleep with someone on a regular basis that they cannot fully connect to? For what?
I like to take the time to get to know people on real levels before considering if we can even be in a relationship. I will say it gets harder the older you get. People feel comfortable in their ways and unlike relationships in your teens or early twenties are less likely to bend and make room for another person. I think due to this and lack of communication there are a lot of missed connections that could be, and if you’re anything like me someone who rarely lets people in their lives- it’s sad when those relationships end because you both were too busy playing communication games.
My new approach? Say what you mean and mean what you say. You have nothing to lose. Also don’t feel bad for speaking up about things you like and don’t like. I wouldn’t suggest being unreasonable but don’t pretend to be cool with things you aren’t cool with either.No two people are the same, but if you really dig someone I am sure they will compromise with you on some things, vice versa. For the moment I am still single, and I feel completely okay with that. When you are a woman who knows what she wants in her career, and really tries to take charge of things in life some men are just not on that wave. They don’t know how to handle you. We all know that work isn’t everything, but when you are building your future it can seem that way and distractions often come in the form of handsome, tall, flavorful species of the opposite sex.
Stay true to yourself and the right person will come along, at least that’s what I keep telling myself.